★ 3 / 10
At least once a year, we get a
Gimly
At least once a year, we get a super-cheap (and super-bad) zombie apocalypse movie starring one moderately famous B-actor, which plays for "action" rather than…
At least once a year, we get a super-cheap (and super-bad) zombie apocalypse movie starring one moderately famous B-actor, which plays for "action" rather than horror, and brings absolutely nothing new to the scene. I assumed _Zombies_ was going to fit this bill for 2017. And for 99% of that sentiment, I was right. What was not cliched however, was the final minutes of the film. I'm not saying that it was a new idea entirely, in fact I know exactly which far better movie _Zombies_ stole it from, but I've never seen this particular set of circumstances play out specifically in a zombie movie before. So one tiny little prop for that choice. Shame it couldn't have happened first in a better zombie movie.
_Final rating:★½: - Boring/disappointing. Avoid where possible._
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★ 2 / 10
If George A Romero ever comes back from the dead.....
FrankDamage
... he will undoubtedly be looking to kick his son in the balls for ever allowing the great film making name of Romero to be attached to this fiasco of a film.…
... he will undoubtedly be looking to kick his son in the balls for ever allowing the great film making name of Romero to be attached to this fiasco of a film.
First of all, I offer my sympathies to the currently living Tony Todd and wonder, "how dead is his career that he actually took a role in this?" While Todd delivers the only credible performance in this festering cesspool of bad acting/actors it shouldn't be the "selling point" as he seems to be doing his own 'zombie walk' of sorts, even though his role is that of a living survivor.
Todd is no 'Brando' by any stretch, but generally his performances are credible and suitable to the role, as well as effective to the story. In this case his role is minimal (mainly in the opening scene(s) and his delivery pretty much falters from the start and just nosedives by the end of the movie. I think anyone/everyone would see that his presence and name (much like the aforementioned producers namesake) is here to sell the film to fans. My advise would be "don't buy it and even if it's sent to you for free, send it back and demand a refund!"
Clearly the budget for auditions was in the double digits, but fortunately (for no one, including himself) fellow producer Stephen Luke offered his "talents" (and yes, this is a complete bastardization of the definition of that word) as the main lead. When the beautiful Raina Hein (2010 America's Next Top Model finalist) is finally introduced it gives little relief to anything other than the aesthetics. Still, I can't help wonder; with Hollywood's increasing obsession in making practically every female character in every show/film, no matter the genre, into some invincible super heroin, maybe Hein would've/could've been more convincing as the lead and carried the overall movie a little better? At the very least a little gratuitous nudity might have kept it from completely falling into (figuratively speaking) a shallow grave.
On the more positive side, Todd Vance (as Bena's dad) delivers the only performance, in one single particular scene, that might give viewers a chuckle. Yes, a single chuckle. Lastly, fight sequences towards the end seem over choreographed at times, but I've seen worse.
Directing, dialogue, writing and plot (along with subsequent "plot twist") are all as the Brits would say, "complete and utter rubbish." Uninspired, unimaginative and just plain lazy.
I honestly think I would've had a better time digging a hole in my backyard, then having someone bury me alive (don't try this at home kids) and video record me digging my way out, then watching that over and over and over again, than watching a single viewing of this dreadful, undead filled flop.
If zombie fans want excitement I'd suggest going to an open casket wake and standing over the body for a time slightly more than the acceptable limit for a complete stranger. It's certain to deliver a better bloodrush than this movie; which will likely only cause rigor mortis... and not in a good way either.
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