★ 1 / 10
The difference between Mel Gibson’s and Bruce Willis’s
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The difference between Mel Gibson’s and Bruce Willis’s recent losing streaks is dignity. And I don’t mean the comparatively more dignified air that a slightly…
The difference between Mel Gibson’s and Bruce Willis’s recent losing streaks is dignity. And I don’t mean the comparatively more dignified air that a slightly bigger budget confers upon Gibson’s latest as opposed to Willis’s (if the former’s are made on a shoestring, the latter’s bring to mind a loafer). My point is that, while Willis is dragged down by the material, Gibson elevates it – at least as far as his character is concerned; the overall outcome tends to be less than the sum of its parts, but the fact remains that Gibson’s part is usually the best, if not the only good thing about the movie (case in point, his turn as an alcoholic actor who runs afoul of the law in Last Looks shows a healthy willingness to satirize his own public image).
Consider for instance what Variety had to say of Gibson’s performance in 2019’s The Professor and the Madman: “the good news is that Gibson is fine; it's everything else that doesn't work.” The same could be said of pretty much every film he has been in since, and Panama is no exception. Here is a movie that isn’t bad just because of its low quality but also for its lack of basic goodness – a jingoistic and hypocritical affair that not only justifies the United States invasion of Panama in the late 80s-early 90s (the narration opens with “there's nothing more rock and roll than taking out the bad guys for the red, white and blue” and, to prove it wasn’t being sarcastic, finishes with “We caught Noriega with his drawers down”; never mind that Noriega had been for years on the CIA’s payroll), but at the same time purports to be down with the Panamanian people.
What the filmmakers, however, know about Panama’s 20th century history could fit in a pinhead and there’d be enough room left for the Lord’s prayer. For example, a comandante with the contras spins a sob story about how “Sandinistas came in the middle of the night, woke [his parents] up and shot them. And my wife and my daughter. Noriega ordered them killed.” Is it just me, or does that wording makes it sound as if the Sandinistas – i.e., the once and future rulers of Nicaragua – took orders from Noriega? Something tells me Daniel Ortega might beg to differ.
PS. The character who tells this story is given the unfortunate name “Steadman Fagoth Muller,” (which sounds like an ill-advised homage to Life of Brian’s “Biggus Dickus”). Why is he called thus? So we can hear how “When he was a child, his middle name was the subject of teasing, so he beat up everyone who tried to make a joke of it and forced them all to call him by his full name.” Pray tell, why would a Panamanian (or Nicaraguan, I’m still not sure) person – or an earthling, for that matter – have such an alien-sounding name? And, having it, why would he be teased for it in a Spanish-speaking country? I mean, if bassoon players (‘fagotistas’ in Spanish) get a pass, why wouldn’t he?
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★ 5 / 10
A shame they didn't have a bigger budget
TdSmth5
Around the time of the US invasion of Panama the CIA decides to make a deal with some contra guerilla fighters. Mel decides to recruit some buddy of his…
Around the time of the US invasion of Panama the CIA decides to make a deal with some contra guerilla fighters. Mel decides to recruit some buddy of his, Becker, who is currently a mess because his wife died. Along for the ride monitoring things is another agent, Burns. Becker is supposed to make the deal happen: he has to buy a Soviet chopper from some bad guys in Panama and deliver it to the guerilla guy. The Panama guys are involved in drugs and Becker has to go undercover and work in a casino where the gets to meet hot girls and the partying bad guy who is supposed to sell him the chopper. He is also contacted by a DEA agent who offers help if he helps them out in turn. Things of course don't turn out as expected at all and Becker ends up stabbed in the back from all sides just as the full invasion breaks out. Yet he somehow has to make it out alive and try to make some deal happen.
Panama has a good idea and story. The cast does the best it can. Mel always delivers but here he is a tertiary character. Kiara Liz is absolutely adorable. Cole Hauser isn't the most compelling lead but does alright. The problem of course is that this was done with a 3rd of the budget necessary to make it a solid international spy undercover thriller. It's not as bad as the rating here suggests but this is an unfortunate case, where they should have really desisted with the project unless they could procure the appropriate budget but instead went ahead and ended up producing a C-level movie.
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I'm watching this only because Mel in it PERIOD!.