As "You Were My First Boyfriend" (2023 release; 97 min.) opens, we are introduced to filmmaker Cecilia Aldarondo, who has nightmares reliving her high school years back in the mid-90s. We then go to "Winter Park, FL", where Aldarondo attends a high school reunion. Things might eg awkward... At this point we are 10 minutes into the documentary.

Couple of comments: even thought this is co-directed by Cecilia Aldarondo and Sarah Enid Hagey, this is really the story of Cecilia. The movie starts out slowly, almost to the point where I was considering to bail on it, but then something magical starts to happen, and the documentary picks up steam (and beauty and empathy). For some, this still may not be enough and they cannot overcome some cringe-worthy passages in the film. But by the time we come to the enactment of a "My So-Called Life" scene, and then the Tori Amos video "Crucify", it all made perfect sense to me. Kudos to Cecilia Aldarondo for having the courage to share her feelings with us.

"You Were My First Boyfriend" premiered at this year's SXSW festival to immediate critical acclaim. I read a good review of it in the NY Times last week, peaking my interest. The movie just started showing on HBO and also streaming on Max, where I caught it the other night. If you are in the mood to reflect what it was like to live through adolescence, I'd readily suggest you check this out, and draw your own conclusion.

I don't know how to express how much I dislike this movie. It's poorly made and directionless, and the film maker Cecilia Aldarondo is profoundly limited in her ability for self-examination. I was left so depressed and nauseous after this shallow, judgmental, vapid, and narcissistic documentary that I had to fight against the intrusive thought that all of existence is just part of some cold, unfeeling, and Godless universe, as well as the bleak and hopeless fear that human beings are just pathetic nothingness' incapable of justifying a reason for our own existing, all supported by my brief exposure to Cecilia Aldarondo's film essay about her childhood. She is so wrong about who she is, and was, that I had to confront the possibility that no one can ever know themselves or others on even the simplest level. This is a movie made by a person with drive and ambition. Making a movie like this is no small task, and even after all the time and effort and desire that went into making this film Aldarondo failed. And not only did she fail, but she failed so spectacularly that I don't think there is even one truth about her in the entire movie, which now exists as a testament to just how long a person look into themselves and still know nothing. I may have just been in a bad mood when I watched it though.