★ 3 / 10
Dances with Boobs & Bush
Coventry
Oh yes, this totally nonsensical and insignificant 80's slasher dud stars the one and only Kevin Costner! I bet he's as proud of this film as George Clooney is…
Oh yes, this totally nonsensical and insignificant 80's slasher dud stars the one and only Kevin Costner! I bet he's as proud of this film as George Clooney is of "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" or as Tom Hanks is of "He Knows You're Alone". But hey, wait a minute
According to the data on this website – and I rarely ever doubt its accuracy – "Shadows Run Black" is a film from the year 1986! Are we supposed to believe that Costner starred in this turkey after he appeared in classier movies like "Silverado" and "Fandango" and only one year prior to the almighty successful Brian De Palma milestone "The Untouchables"? Of course not... A bit of quick research teaches us that "Shadows Run Black" was already finalized in 1981, but remained shelved for obvious reasons (because it's awful). Then in 1986 it was removed from the shelves and rapidly distributed, again for obvious reasons (it was still awful, but people would suddenly pay to see it because it stars Kevin Costner). Luckily for Kev, his role is merely a small and supportive one, and even though his character is often mentioned and talked about, his actual appearance in the film is rather limited and brief. What are we left with then? "Shadows Run Black" is a misogynic, incoherent, clichéd, zero-budgeted and laughably inept slasher attempt. "A masked killer, a couple of idiotic red herrings and – most of all – a lot of female full frontal nudity is all we need in order to make a successful horror movie, right?". That's basically what the writers and producers must have thought when they started filming. Some psychopath, entirely dressed in black and wearing a ski mask, is slaughtering lewd girls left and right, supposedly because of their amoral behavior. The killer's main target is a local beauty queen with racist brother and a black boyfriend with an impressive porno-mustache. The frustrated and loud-mouthed police detective in charge only focuses on one prime suspect, and that is Kevin Costner in the role of a sleazy youthful thug. This movie is downright ridiculous. There is almost no link between the characters and the vast majority of them don't even have backgrounds or personalities. You'll see the proof of this when the end credits roll over the screen, as the actresses are referred to as "girl stabbed in chest" or "girl killed in kitchen". In return for their fifteen minutes of fame, however, these poor girls were obliged to parade fully naked in front of the camera for several minutes non- stop. The nudity is exaggerated and completely unrealistic, atop! Let me ask you: do you know any girl who would go and investigate strange noises in her house while still naked? Wouldn't any woman in the world put on at least a gown or a shirt? Director Howard Heard was so obsessed with his naked amateur actresses that he also lost continuity out of sight. For instance, whatever happened to the The build-up to the murders lasts incredibly long, what with the girls undressing and staring at themselves in the mirror, while the actual murders are tame and done with in the blink of an eye. I guess it's much easier and cheaper to show naked flesh instead of suspense and bloodshed. The killer's identity is simple to guess and so pitiably clichéd that you won't even believe it. Another great moment for the 80's slasher-industry, sigh
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★ 2 / 10
Kevin Costner's second film.
capkronos
Another Troma-tic turkey (produced by Eric Louzil, who went on to direct those awful NUKE 'EM HIGH sequels) and substandard slasherama with one difference by…
Another Troma-tic turkey (produced by Eric Louzil, who went on to direct those awful NUKE 'EM HIGH sequels) and substandard slasherama with one difference by default...Kevin Costner! In a minor supporting role, Costner has two scenes as campus party animal Jimmy Scott, main suspect in a rash of killings at Dorothy College. Short fused, foul-mouthed detective Rydell King (William J. Kulzer) investigates the murder spree of "The Black Angel" (aka "The Co-ed Killer" or "The Moral Vigilante"), a mystery maniac who enjoys cutting up a group of college girls who used to be hookers, like to shower a lot and have a strange aversion to clothing.A key subplot involves a young bimbo named Judy (Elizabeth Trosper) who receives heavy breathing phone calls ("I'm coming to get you!") and whose racist brother objects to her black boyfriend. Everyone talks about how hot she is, a point that seems to require her to be painted up like a streetwalker at all times, including in the shower and waking up in the morning.This film might set some kind of record for nude female victims, including porn star Susanna Britton/Barbara Peckinpaugh in an endless scene where she showers and runs around naked trying to elude the killer. Also featured are skinny dipping (from Terry Congie who co-starred with Costner in his first film, SIZZLE BEACH USA), a bloody stabbing, a head mashed in a car hood, a magician, a fat lesbian, a cello player and a visible boom mike. It didn't get released on video until 1986 (it was actually produced in 1981), with the publicity centering around... guess who?
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3.1/10
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