Before all our genitals shrivelled up using the internet, iphones, and other gadgets, people used to pass the time having sex. This is their story.

After a hilariously upbeat theme tune introduction, a middle aged man goes to the Hotel of the title and hooks up with a woman in the bar. The seemingly knowing guy on reception gives them the key to Room 3, a blood red room that contains all manner of kinky equipment and costumes. Plus a two-way mirror so that someone can take pictures and blackmail the clients later. You see that guy dressed up as the devil and unnervingly chewing on that actresses chin - he's a high flying businessman, and that lady dressed as a nun - that's not his wife.

One threatening letter and several kinky blackmail pictures later, and this guy is approaching his lawyer in the first of many scenes that don't make any sense in hindsight. The lawyer is dubbed with one of the funniest voices I've heard in a long time, for the record, so it's good when this guy shows up throughout the film. The blackmailed guy's wife gets wind of the whole deal and goes to the police, where cop Antony Steffen gets involved. Some black-gloved killer also gets involved, as the nun lady gets murdered and the wife soon follows suit while investigating the hotel.

This all sounds like a great set-up for a slash-a-thon, doesn't it? It's a pity that the investigation of the blackmail plot takes precedence, interlaced with endless nudity and liaisons in Room 3. Ray Lovelock and his missus get involved as newlyweds that witness some dodgy happenings and agree to help the police, resulting in his missus tracking down a photographer and taking part in a lengthy nude photo session that's followed by another nude photo session, then a third nude photo session until we get to another naked session in Room 3 involving a bottle of champagne that had me laughing out loud. At this point I was thinking that the killer might be some grudgeful cleaner fed up trying to wash filthy man-fat out of those sheets.

To be honest, although the film does contain about as much nudity as a copy of Razzle, it's not that filthy. My stomach did turn at some of the over-zealous snogging by Marino Mase mind you. Judging by the cheeseball look on Marino's face when he dresses up as a Bishop, I'm pretty sure none of this was intended to be taken as a serious artistic statement. Rather, it's just a parade of naked ladies for you to knock one out to.