At first, I thought the underlying message of Personhood (2025) was that only an “artificial person” — i.e., a very expensive sex doll — could love someone with scoliosis, but it’s okay because Gala (Agathe Levi) appears to attain sentience in the end, so she’s as much a person as you and I, sort of? If so, the implication would be that for something possible to happen — a drop-dead gorgeous woman falling in love with a man with a curved spine — something impossible must happen first — a robot achieving humanity. Writer-director Richard Jordan makes it look a lot less impossible by having a very human, very attractive actress play Gala. Rather than a machine becoming a person, we get a person pretending to be a machine and not really doing a good job of it. According to IMDb, the film takes place in the “near future.” Too near, if you ask me. This same scenario, with the “technology” available today, would be much creepier. For starters, Gala would arrive in a box and require assembly instead of showing up at Waylen’s (Elliot Harris) door under her own power. Indeed, Waylen would have to charge her before first use, not unlike a cordless stick vacuum. Appearance-wise, Gala couldn’t pass for a human being any more than Levi can pass for an android. It’s such a small leap to make that I feared Gala would turn out to have been human all along (as in Life Like). If anything, though, she proves to be more human than human. The climax involves Gala recognizing Waylen even though her memory has just been reset. However, the following morning, Gala leaves Waylen without so much as a good-bye note. To add insult to injury, she takes his dog and (presumably) his car. If she just went for a joyride, the film does not make that clear. Maybe I was wrong and the true moral of the story is that no one at all could ever love a man with scoliosis. To be fair, for all of Waylen’s insistence that he wants her to disagree with him and have her own goals, he does have intercourse with her not out of mutual attraction but because that’s what she’s been programmed to do. I’m getting some strong Richard III vibes here. “I’ll have her, but I will not keep her long,” The Duke of Gloucester said of Lady Anne. Waylen could paraphrase, “I had her, but I didn’t keep her long.” Richard also remarked, “since I cannot prove a lover … I am determined to prove a villain.” The question is, which one is Waylen? And as the only character with a curved spine in Personhood, what does it say of people with that condition in general? Then again, I’m not sure Jordan is in the business of saying things. It is established early that Gala can’t defend herself from any pervert who isn’t her owner because of the First Law of Robotics (not mentioned explicitly, but we’re all adult nerds here). She gradually loses this inhibition; since the possibility of a glitch is never entertained, we may assume this plot point is meant to signal her transition from artificial person to person-person. Unfortunately, because the film ends right after Gala does a Pinocchio, the difference between machine and human — other than the willingness to inflict physical damage on your peers — is never explored. “Personhood” doesn’t just entail thoughts and emotions; it involves physiological needs. Gala didn’t need to eat before. Does she get hungry now? The film’s curiosity doesn’t even cover such an obvious yet valid question.