★ 2 / 10
The P-51D Mustangs didn't enter service until the
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The P-51D Mustangs didn't enter service until the Spring of 1944. The Africa Campaign ended in May 1943 ... A Simple Google search could have easily made for a…
The P-51D Mustangs didn't enter service until the Spring of 1944. The Africa Campaign ended in May 1943 ... A Simple Google search could have easily made for a realistic movie, well except DRAGONS. ugh. I would have made the movie using and calling it P-40 Dragon Fighter and it would have more period authentic, well except DRAGONS.
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★ 1 / 10
CGI, acting, accents and eyebrows. All incredible
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CGI, acting, accents and eyebrows. All incredible.
CGI, acting, accents and eyebrows. All incredible.
★ 3 / 10
How does one begin a review for a
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How does one begin a review for a film called "P-51 Dragon Fighter"? I can't tell you how thrilled I was to see this film I had never even heard of on the…
How does one begin a review for a film called "P-51 Dragon Fighter"?
I can't tell you how thrilled I was to see this film I had never even heard of on the shelf at my local free library. With hands trembling from trepidation, I carried it to the check-out counter. Still in a state of mild shock, I walked the three miles home, heart gently pounding and mind full of possibilities.
My hands still trembling, I inserted it into my player and turned on the TV. I was immediately struck by the no-nonsense, straight-to-business-ness of the menu with it's single option of 'Play Movie'. No language or subtitle options, no special features, no chapters, even. I could tell this DVD wanted to be my friend.
It was at this point I realized I left my car at the library, so I'd best hurry up and watch the thing before the angry natives carted my wheels off to one of their pagan coming-of-age ceremonies.
The film starts out with an archaeological team digging up a stone that glows mysteriously with a mysterious glow. My ever-faithful servant, Mongo, commented that it was most likely a dragon's egg, for which I beat him mercilessly with a shoe I keep around for such things, and sent him to his chamber with a verbal warning of "Spoilers, b***h!" After gathering my wits, I un-paused the film. Something was going on with planes and fire, but I have t admit, I am not exactly sure what.
Then there was a series of actors speaking in bad German accents I could tell they were bad accents because I am an expert in those kind of things.
There seemed to be an awful lot of American accents in the film, as well as one or two Russian and even a Scot, they were also all just awful accents. The dialogue is stilted and filled with anachronisms, just the way I like it.
When the bullets start flying, one of the actors said "Woo-Hoo" with such vigor that I heard Mongo tapping at his door and softly moaning. I almost felt pity for the wretch, but that's how they get you.
When the female lead finally makes her appearance, she is refreshingly pretty in a non-descript sort of way. She almost immediately demonstrates her acting chops by shedding a single tear for her dead father whom she never knew.
Don't we all have a dead father whom we never knew? I know I did, so I felt an immediate false affinity with whatshername.
Surprisingly, the male and female leads kiss tenderly at this point, but if I've learned anything from movies about paranormal activities during World War Two, it's that everybody back then were sluts. Kissing and fondling was a common form of greeting for strangers back then. I assume this is what caused the Baby Boom.
Apparently, the titular dragons are controlled by the Fates, who are helpfully commanding them to do what the bad German accents require. Some amount of intrigue is introduced when one of the Fates gives a bad German accent a drink of water, then slips something into his attache case.
Several bad American accents and one awful English accent discover a dragon corpse and one of them performs oral surgery. The bad German accents immediately arrest them.
They are taken to one of the leaders of the German accents, who tells them a bedtime story.
Possessed of this new information, the bad American accents return to their headquarters with a plan to defeat the dragons, the bad German accents and awful dialogue all at the same time.
Will the Allies defeat the dragons? Will the lead actors consummate their love?
You'll have to watch the rest of the movie to find out. I couldn't.
Now I have to go get my car. Come, Mongo!
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5%
AUDIENCE
2.8/10
753
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a dragon can blow??? LoL...!