★ 5 / 10
Why Is This So Good?!!!
meddlecore
This is quite possible the most ridiculously hilarious (and awesome) Christmas-themed film ever created.The whole thing is animated with CGI...and takes place…
This is quite possible the most ridiculously hilarious (and awesome) Christmas-themed film ever created.The whole thing is animated with CGI...and takes place in a space-based universe, that a number of films- made by creator BC Fourteen- take place in.Here, we have the clone of a clone of a clone of Jack Van Helsing (in full Master Chief garb), who- alongside his pregnant girlfriend, Kali Divine- must save the Atlantean race (of green "grey" type extraterrestrials) from the wrath of Krampus...who is the greatest- and most vindictive- flying ace in space.Though, Kali is forced to team up with Jack's best friend, Bigfoot, after he goes rogue (in search of androids to have sex with)...because Kali wouldn't give him a blowjob when he wanted one.Kali doesn't believe Krampus is actually Krampus...because, like Santa, she doesn't believe he actually exists.Bigfoot, however, knows Santa is real...because they used to get high on kush together.Van Helsing does eventually return to Kali- after his sexually driven foray into the universe- because he's unable to kick his memories of her.Only to discover that Krampus has teamed up with the (Xenobyte-looking) Boogeyman...to break Lucifer out of jail, so they- with help from a number of other nefarious creatures- can wage war on the humans and their allies...to punish them for their transgressions...and ruin Christmas.Jack (O'Lantern), Exterminator (who is actually a Terminator), Golem, Jaws, and Anubis (among others), also make appearances, in this war to end humanity.While Ra and Osiris get shout outs.As you can tell...the whole thing is pure cheese.But it's wildly entertaining cheese!The animation is both surprisingly good, and hilariously bad, at the same time (and kind of reminds me of Transformers).With a script that's SUPER vulgar (which is the quality that makes it so endearing).It, honestly, has no business being as good as it is.But it is!With the only downside to it being the abrupt ending...as it really doesn't round the story out, and bring it to a close.However, you can chock this up to it only being the first episode in an ongoing storyline that will progress across a series of films.With BC Fourteen using that as an oppourtunity to bring in, and utilize, other characters (from the universe he has created) introduced in both previous and future films.I freaking loved this!And you should too.Because...if you hated it...you might not know how to have fun...5.5 out of 10.
2.5/10
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